Those Advice Articles On Retirement Aren’t For Me

oh no shes upI was just reading another article on how to prepare for life in retirement, and it was not talking to me. The author seemed to be talking to an old guy who’d done nothing but get up and go to work every day and come home, have a beer, and watch TV all night. How to fill your time, old man, when that routine is gone? Maybe take a part-time job in a whole new field? Find a hobby? Volunteer? Smell the roses?

I don’t like the smell of roses. Roses smell like old ladies to me.

Which I am, I don’t deny it. I’m 63. But I can’t quite apply the word “retire” to the plans that I have for my life ahead.

The problem is, I have too many plans. I want to finish writing my book. Actually, I want to write a second book – the one I’ve discussed co-writing with my friend Kay. Or no, it’s three books really. The third is actually what I’ve been working on lately, when I should have been writing the first. Or the second. I want to clean out the garage, finally – FINALLY – and set up a workroom for my husband, a very talented and creative carpenter who makes beautiful hollow wooden surfboards, but only when he can use the garage of his friend, who’s been busy with a new girlfriend lately. I want to get involved again in an environmental protection organization. I want to travel. I want to actually apply for a patent for any one of the “inventions” I’ve been carrying in my head. I want to live near each of my daughters a few months out of every year. I want to read. I want to watch a movie every other day. I want to continue building websites for clients and helping them use social media marketing. I want to continue to ghost write blogs for my favorite clients and remain available to ghost write a full length book here and there.

I don’t want to retire, I want to get all of my plans done. I just want to do them according to my own whim and my own schedule. That’s my definition of a good life.

Many times I’ve heard women my age say, “I don’t worry about what I’m going to do in retirement, I worry about how I’m going to get all the shit done that I want to do!”

I hear you sister, I hear you.

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