These 5 “fears of living with another” will hit home – and they’re not what people usually talk about before moving in together.
#1: Too. Much. Talking.
Maybe the phrase “too much talking” raises nothing but a question mark for you. Too much talking? How can that be possible? No such thing!
Congratulations, you’re an extrovert. A chatty roommate most likely won’t bother you a bit. But if you’re an introvert and you need your quiet time, or you work at home and, like it or not, you can’t afford to be interrupted constantly, a roommate who can’t stop talking can be a constant problem.
#2: Annoying Friends and Family
You know how you kind of recoil sometimes (or maybe often) when your Facebook friends post pictures of their ahhhh-DOOOOR-able grandchild? Who is doing nothing? And who isn’t, let’s be honest, particularly cute? And who maybe also is drooling a little bit? The type of loving grandparent who posts these photos seems also to be the type who does so quite often – maybe every single day. On and on the annoyance goes, which, mercifully, you can hide or scroll past, and go on with your life.
Now imagine that scenario coming to life in your own living room; when your new roommate welcomes her little drooling darlings right smack dab in the middle of your home. (“Oooohhh, here’s my luvy wuvy darling grandbaby!”) And what if that scene plays out several times a week? There is no escape other than abandoning your own personal haven for the privacy of your bedroom or exiting the building entirely.
#3: Messy. Messy. Messy.
It can go both ways. And unless you two are a match made in heaven, it probably will. Maybe you like a place for every thing and every thing in its place. Maybe you like an aesthetically pleasing, open space surrounding you, but your roommate doesn’t see the need to repetitively put the scissors away, only to have to go and get them out of the drawer again in order to use them, or she doesn’t need to bother throwing away the discarded envelopes from that day’s opened mail; they’re not hurting anybody.
Or maybe you’re the opposite; you just do not see the need to be draconian over Rubber Bands And Where They Go, or Dishes In The Sink.
You can find every day to be an accumulation of irritations and frustrations, whether you’re a neat freak or a laid back mess-maker. It all depends on how opposite, or well-matched, your roommate is.
Some people do not ever want their home to smell like food. Others cook cabbage constantly or never notice the fetid litter box. Some feel the need to insert a “pretty smell” into their home, so they plug in air fresheners or fill vases with scented oils and wicks. Others may consider any sort of artificial scent an affront to not only their olfactory senses but their physical health. Artificial chemicals in the air that I’m now inhaling? Get those out of here! Even the use of soaps, lotions, and perfumes can be really lovely to one person and downright disturbing to another. “Smell incompatibility” is not a minor thing.
#5: Godawful Music
I don’t know about you, but if someone puts on Elvis or Bing during the holidays, I get murder in my eyes. I absolutely cannot tolerate the sound of it – really, it MUST stop. But my husband thinks it’s fun; it puts him in mind of childhood Christmases. At other times, I like to listen to Irish folk music; he’s scratching his head. Why listen to that?
Sometimes differing tastes in music are minor annoyances, and you or your roommate can tune out the other’s choice of audio entertainment. But sometimes the difference is worse than fingernails on a chalkboard. That’s when you’ve got a problem.
What To Do About Roommate Fears
Put these items on your “What If” list when you’re considering living with a roommate. Make sure you talk about them before you agree to live together. When you have harmony in these “5 Fear” areas, you will have inner peace in your own home while enjoying the companionship of another person in your life. If you don’t have harmony, well then, plain and simple, it’s hell. Make sure you go with Choice Number 1.